Houston Texans linebacker Azeez Al-Shaair has opened up about the emotional toll he faced after being handed a three-game suspension for a controversial hit on Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback Trevor Lawrence. The suspension, which came without pay, left Al-Shaair questioning his future in football and grappling with feelings of doubt and despair.
The Controversial Hit
The incident occurred during the Texans’ 23-20 victory over the Jaguars. Al-Shaair was ejected from the game after delivering a forceful elbow to Lawrence, who was in the process of sliding to give himself up. The hit sparked outrage on the Jaguars’ sideline, triggering a bench-clearing brawl.
Lawrence lay motionless on the field following the hit and was eventually carted off, later diagnosed with a concussion. Observers noted his clenched fists, a symptom known as the “fencing response,” which can indicate a traumatic brain injury.
The Aftermath
In the days following the game, the NFL announced Al-Shaair’s suspension, citing unsportsmanlike conduct. In a strongly worded letter from NFL executive Jon Runyan, Al-Shaair was accused of lacking “sportsmanship and respect for the game of football,” a characterization that deeply affected him.
“I was in a dark place,” Al-Shaair admitted during his first public comments since the suspension. “As dark as you can imagine, that’s where I was. It was hard for me to see myself playing football again.”
Al-Shaair described feeling devastated by the way his actions were interpreted and said he spent days questioning whether he could return to the field. “I really had a moment of, ‘There’s no way I can go out and play football again if this is how people that I work with view me,’” he said.
Seeking Redemption
Determined to find clarity, Al-Shaair met with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and executives Troy Vincent and Jon Runyan to discuss the incident and his future in the league. During these conversations, Al-Shaair sought to understand how the league viewed him as a player.
Runyan clarified that his comments about Al-Shaair’s sportsmanship were specific to the events of the game and not a reflection of his overall career. While Al-Shaair acknowledged his mistake, he remained adamant that he had no intention of hurting Lawrence. “Everything prior to that, I stand on the fact that I never tried to hurt him,” he said.
Climbing Out of the Darkness
For nearly a week after the suspension, Al-Shaair struggled to find motivation. “It’s like a blur,” he said. “I didn’t eat anything. I didn’t go anywhere.” However, messages of support from children at a foster care organization in Tennessee, where he had volunteered the previous year, helped him begin to heal.
“I got so many different messages like that,” Al-Shaair shared. “I remember just sitting in my bed thinking, ‘I can keep sitting here feeling like I’m being misjudged, or I can just do what I always do—try to be positive and spread positivity.’”
Inspired by the children’s encouragement, Al-Shaair flew to Nashville to attend the organization’s event, reconnecting with the community he had supported in the past. “Seeing people who were happy to see me, who appreciated my presence, helped snap me out of that dark place,” he said.
A Triumphant Return
With the Texans (9-7) battling injuries and entering the playoffs on the heels of two consecutive losses, Al-Shaair’s return could not come at a better time. Head coach DeMeco Ryans expressed excitement about having the linebacker back in the lineup for Sunday’s game against the Tennessee Titans.
“We’ve missed him over these past three weeks—his leadership, his playmaking ability, his presence,” Ryans said. “We’re excited to get him back out there and let him knock off some of the rust.”
As Al-Shaair prepares to step onto the field again, he remains focused on redeeming himself and helping his team. While the road to recovery—both emotionally and professionally—has been challenging, he is determined to prove that his character and commitment to the game remain steadfast.
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